My Daughter's graduation May 2009

Hello!
On May 9th, my oldest daughter graduated from Russell Sage College in Troy, NY. Here is a copy of the article that I wrote about my heartfelt feelings watching my daughter graduate from my Alma mater. This appeared in the RSC Alumni magazine, Connections, in July 2009.


Twenty-one years ago, I watched my little girl take her first steps as she walked across our living room floor. I stood at the opposite end of the room, cheering her on, holding my arms out to her as she quickly approached. As she reached her destination- my arms-I held her, hugged her, kissed her and gave her words of praise.
Around noon on May ninth of this year, at the RPI field house, I had the great pleasure of watching this same little girl, walk across the stage in full graduation regalia, with a diploma in her arms and magna cum laude in History and Political Science to her credit. Although, I was not at the other end of the stage, holding out my arms to coax her to me, I was present in the audience, proud and in awe of the young woman she had become.
It continues to amaze me in moments such as these that so many memories come flooding into the forefront of my brain. In the time it took Emily to walk from one end of the stage to the other I watched her take her first steps, go to kindergarten, play the clarinet, perform the lead role in “Our Town,” graduate from high school, move into Kellas, make life-long friends, become president of the Athenians, and call me to tell me she was accepted to Albany Law School.
I was keenly aware of my own journey through Emmy’s life as well. I smiled and clapped at her clarinet playing, boasted of her acting talent to family and friends, and quietly watch as she was inducted into Athenians. I also knew what she was feeling at that very moment because I too, walked across a similar stage twenty-six years earlier as a Sage graduate. I knew her excitement, her anxiety, her hope and her fears. I remembered watching the alumni invade the Sage campus during graduation weekend and thinking how “old” they looked and imagined that I would never look or act like that when I returned for alumni weekend. Alas, I sighed, time passed much too quickly.
Re-living college through my daughter’s years at Sage was educational for me. I learned that college students were much more sophisticated than I was back then. I learned that college students were much more mobile, and opinionated, and motivated to change the world, than I remember I was. I also was glad to see that some things stayed the same…excellent professors, small class sizes, Sage traditions... and I felt proud.
You are probably thinking that Emily took an hour to cross the stage for me to have so many reflections in such a short amount of time. The fact is, I have been reflecting about Emily and Sage and me for quite a while. I have smiled, and cried, and felt very, very grateful for this wonderful and uniquely shared experience between Emmy and me. And I know that she will do great things in her life, because she has received great learning at Sage.
So, even though I was not physically at the end of the stage to hug her and kiss her and give her high praise, I was there in spirit, twenty-six years earlier and at the moment she finished crossing the stage today-as well as afterward outside the field house, of course. And I will continue to be there for her in years to come to hug, kiss, cheer and praise her. And perhaps someday, just maybe someday, she and I will have another shared experience…the opportunity to sit in the audience, and remember, and watch another extraordinary Sage woman take a life changing walk across that special stage.

I love you Em,
Mom

Gotta Love It

Hello!!!


I think you will relate to this.


Last Thursday, I went to the YMCA. In lieu of purchasing a treadmill with our tax return money, we, being my family and I, joined the local Y. Since June second, my husband and I have faithfully gone to the fitness center, I mean, "Wellness Center," to climb on a few of the machines and then lift weights. "I" go to the Y every day, and "my husband" goes four times a week..."and no more."


Since we get a free "wellness assessment" with our membership, we decided to sign up for it. My husband went first. And since he is the one with a few heart procedures in his medical history, and since he loves salt, butter and double high test coffee every morning, I figured, if he made it through the test, I should too.


The test is a computerized thing...you wear this gadget then do step work, stretching stuff and a strength pull. He comes home smiling and boasting how well he did (I am sincerely glad by the news.) He says, "My cardio is great. My flexibility is better than average but I am a bit weaker than I should be...best of all...this 50 year old body is really 45 years old in "exercise language."" Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. (I roll my eyes.)


To myself, I say, if he did that well...I think I will do well too....


My appointment is the next day at noon. One is not allowed to eat for four hours prior to the test. No problem, I don't enjoy breakfast anyways; and BTW, I also do not eat meat, add salt, butter or drink caffeine.


I walk into the computer room (what is a computer doing in a fitness center anyways...) and I step on the scale...seven pounds heavier than prior to beginning my Y membership.

Mr. Fitness assessor takes my blood pressure-126/87. He says I am pre-hypertensive. In all my years during my yearly physical my pressure has been 100/70 and my MD thinks I am practically dead. Not today!

Then I do my aerobic step test. I pass, in fact I do quite well. Yea for me!

Then I do my flexibility test. I am average. Okay, I will take it.

Then I do my strength test. I am a weakling. That is okay too...I knew I was weak, that is why I go to the wellness center and lift weights.

Then the final report spits out of the computer...my 48 year old body behaves like a 50 year old.


I am a weakling who is inflexible and overweight.


I smile and leave.


My poor husband. I did not talk to him for 24 hours. Now before anyone starts tapping out a note to me telling me how unfair I am, calling me a B%$*#. I already know I behaved poorly, but as a 50 year old female, who is overweight, inflexible and weak, I am entitled to my attitude.


During the next 24 hours, I begin to speak. I poke fun at myself, in a backhanded manner, calling my husband "Mr. Perfect." I know...I am not being a nice person, but I am still hurting. (and I am still in a 50 year old looking body that is overweight, inflexible and weak.)


Finally in the next 24 hours I get a little perspective. As my husband said, "It is only a computer program for goodness sake...don't take it so seriously." (Easy for him to say.)

I look in the mirror. No, I am not happy with what I see, but I also know that both of my legs work; as well as both of my arms. I can speak, write, laugh and cry. I have four children. I live in a nice house. I finished graduate school with a perfect 4.0. I have a husband who puts up with my moodiness.

AND, I still have my YMCA membership.


So, I will continue to go to the "Wellness Center" every day. I will work hard, modify my routine and seek assistance. I will also add a little salt, butter and caffeine to my diet (because apparently they help your body "be" 5 years younger). And I will press on.


I wish I didn't have to work so hard, yet when I compare my life with so many others in the world, I don't have it so bad...alas, I will see you at the gym.


Until next time, have hope,
Donna